


DKLA (Don't Keep Love Around)

by MaeTaurus



Series: Blue Neighborhood [6]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012 Era (Phandom), Break Up, Getting Back Together, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2019-09-12 06:12:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16867618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaeTaurus/pseuds/MaeTaurus
Summary: Unsure of what he wants and not wanting to hold Phil back, Dan breaks it off with him.





	DKLA (Don't Keep Love Around)

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Troye Sivan's song, DKLA, from his album, Blue Neighborhood.
> 
> Originally posted to Tumblr on November 20, 2015.

It had been rocky for a few weeks, Phil knew that, but he never expected it to actually end. He thought they would be able to get over this rough patch and things would go back to normal. Now he wasn’t so sure.

“Dan, I don’t understand,” Phil said, voice cracking. He understood everything Dan had said, he just didn’t want to believe it.

Dan sighed and looked away when he saw Phil tearing up. He knew if Phil started crying then he would too, and that couldn’t happen. “I said I think we should break up. It just, it’s not working out. It was great while it lasted but it’s time to put it in the past,” Dan said, repeating himself. “I just think we need a break to sort things out, you know?”

Phil shook his head and frowned. “No, I don’t know. Dan where is this coming from? I mean I know it’s been rough but I didn’t think that…that it would come to this.” He was fighting off tears at this point, biting his lip and blinking rapidly.

“Come on, Phil! You didn’t really expect us to stay together forever did you?” Dan was practically yelling now.

“Yes,” he whispered. “I did.”

Dan just laughed, starting to get hysterical. “We’re from two completely different worlds! We just don’t fit! You’re successful and happy, everyone loves you. And me? Well I’m just the loser that’s holding you back. And we both know it! You’re better off without me.”

“Dan-”

“No!” Dan shouted. “Don’t even try to convince me otherwise because I know that’s the truth! Everyone loves you because you’re nice and innocent and perfect. And they all hate me because I’m loud and obnoxious and a total mess.”

He shook his head and took a step towards Dan.

Dan picked up a pillow from the sofa and threw it at Phil, hitting him in the chest with it. “Stay away from me! Don’t fucking touch me!” he screamed.

Phil frowned and looked down at the pillow on the floor at his feet. Of course it didn’t hurt, and they had thrown pillows at each other in the past so it wasn’t anything new, but this was different. This time it was thrown out of anger and frustration. There was no playful tone to it, and that was what hurt Phil.

He stormed out of the room, slamming the door to his bedroom once he reached it, leaving Phil alone in the lounge.

***

The past two weeks had been hell for Phil. Since their break up he’d done his best to avoid Dan but since they lived together, this was impossible. He’d started waking up early to eat breakfast before Dan woke up then would hide in his room all day, only coming out for food.

Phil just felt so hopeless and had no idea what to do. He wanted to make everything better but he wasn’t sure how that was possible since Dan had been the one to break things off.

Dan felt awful for hurting Phil but he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t want to be responsible for being the one to hold Phil back in life. He knew Phil was capable of doing so much more than just making YouTube videos. Dan found himself outside of Phil’s room over a dozen times in the past two weeks but never got the courage to open the door. He wanted to comfort Phil but didn’t think he was the best person to do that. Instead, Dan just left him alone.

It was two in afternoon, Phil had just ventured out for lunch and brought it back to his room. As he shut the door, Phil heard his laptop ping, indicating he got an email. He didn’t think anything of it however, seeing as he got dozens of emails a day from fans. But something made Phil check it, a gut feeling that it wasn’t just fanmail.

“Oh my god! Oh my god no way!” Phil exclaimed. “Dan! Dan, get in here!”

Dan heard Phil and rushed into his room, worried he’d gotten hurt. “What? What’s wrong?” he asked, looking around for any potential dangers.

“Look! Read it!” he said, handing Dan his laptop so he could read the email.

He frowned, confused about what Phil was so excited about. Dan read the email and couldn’t help but grin. “Oh my god! They want us to have a weekly radio show?! That’s insane!” Dan exclaimed, feeling excited now.

Phil nodded and grinned at him. “Yeah! That’s amazing!” His smile fell when he realized this would mean a move to London, something they’d talked about before but that was when they were together. Phil didn’t like the thought of not living with Dan and was worried that this meant they would move to London separately.

“What?” Dan asked, frowning when he saw Phil looked sad again.

“It’s just… well we would have to move to London, and we won’t live together anymore,” Phil mumbled.

Dan sat down on Phil’s bed and looked anywhere but at Phil. “I thought you wanted to move to London. We’ve been talking about it for a while.”

He sighed and shrugged. “I did but I like living with you.”

“Why would that change?” Dan asked.

Phil looked at Dan and frowned. “Because when we moved in together we were boyfriends and now we’re ex-boyfriends. It’s different.”

Dan bit his lip and sighed, “Oh.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Phil blurted out, “Why did you dump me? What changed?”

“I-” Dan tried to speak but Phil interrupted him.

“Why do you think you’re holding me back? And why do you think everyone hates you? Clearly they don’t since the BBC offered us a job together, not just me. Just make me understand, please,” Phil pleaded, tired of feeling like he was being left in the dark.

He sighed. “I just… People only know who I am because of you. They’re only interested in me because they think we’re dating. They genuinely like you but they only like me because I’m associated with you.”

Phil frowned at Dan’s words. “So do you not wanna do the radio show then?” he asked.

“What? No, of course I do! I didn’t mean…” he sighed and closed his eyes. “I just wish people actually liked me. I like doing videos with you, and I’m excited to do the radio show with you too. I just sometimes feel like I’m not my own person, like as far as the internet is concerned I only exist when you’re around. I want people to like me for me, not just because I’m your friend.”

Phil nodded in understanding. “You’re right, I can see how a lot of our fans are our fans and not just your fans. But Dan, how does breaking up with me solve that?”

Dan shrugged and looked at Phil sheepishly. “I dunno. I guess cause I know they like our chemistry and I guess subconsciously I thought that if that was gone then they would see me for me. I was just frustrated and upset and I couldn’t think of anything else to do. I’m sorry I took it out on you.”

He reached over and grabbed Dan’s hand, holding it in between his two hands. “Dan, you could’ve just talked to me about this.”

“I know, I just felt stupid for even thinking this way,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry. Forgive me?”

Phil gave him a smile and nodded. “Of course I do, just promise me you’ll talk to me next time instead of just pushing me away?”

Dan nodded quickly and threw himself at Phil, wrapping his arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. “I promise,” he whispered.

After a few minutes, Dan finally pulled away. He looked at Phil and smiled at him. “Guess we better start looking for a new place in London then,” Dan grinned.


End file.
